{"product_id":"never-trust-humans-large-print-front-heavy-blend-zip-hoodie","title":"Never Trust Humans LUXE Hoodie MOXX","description":"\u003cp class=\"cdk-visually-hidden ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"container\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv dir=\"ltr\" aria-busy=\"false\" aria-live=\"polite\" id=\"model-response-message-contentr_0d54d5d1cfb411ac\" class=\"markdown markdown-main-panel stronger enable-updated-hr-color preserve-whitespaces-in-response\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe 'Never Trust Humans' Space Chopper Hoodie 🚀🏍️🖤\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLet me set the exact scene that forced me to draw this design.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eIt was 2 AM on a Saturday, and I was trapped in the corner of a painfully loud, overcrowded house party. The guy next to me, who was wearing sunglasses indoors, had been explaining his \"visionary startup\" to me for 45 uninterrupted minutes. My social battery wasn't just dead; it was actively rotting. 🪫💀\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eI looked around the room at the chaos—people spilling drinks, yelling over each other, and generally being absolute menaces—and I realized a fundamental truth: I need to get off this planet. Immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eI didn't just want to call an Uber. I wanted to put on a full, pressurized astronaut suit, kickstart a motorcycle, and launch myself directly into the cold, quiet, blessedly silent void of space. 🌌🏍️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003ePeople are exhausting. They lie, they ghost, they drink your last beer without asking, and they try to pay you in \"exposure.\" You know what doesn't let you down? The infinite, peaceful vacuum of the galaxy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eI went home, locked my door, and drew this exact graphic. The astronaut on the chopper getting the hell away from Earth, surrounded by traditional tattoo roses and swords because protecting your peace is a battle. And I slapped \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"228\" data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eNEVER TRUST HUMANS\u003c\/b\u003e right down the sleeve as a bright red warning label to anyone who tries to approach me before I've had my iced coffee. 🛑☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eSometimes the \"struggle\" isn't a massive life hurdle. Sometimes the struggle is just surviving a terrible social interaction without completely losing your mind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eWear it when your social battery is in the negatives and you need the world to give you 50 feet of space.\u003c\/b\u003e 🛒✨\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 50% cotton, 50% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 8 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Yarn diameter: 20 singles\u003cbr\u003e• Soft fleece fabric inside and outside\u003cbr\u003e• Air-jet spun yarn for reduced piling\u003cbr\u003e• Regular fit\u003cbr\u003e• Metal zipper\u003cbr\u003e• Front pouch pockets\u003cbr\u003e• Unlined hood with color-matched drawcord\u003cbr\u003e• Double-needle stitching at shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband, and cuffs\u003cbr\u003e• Safety Green: Compliant with ANSI\/ISEA 107\u003cbr\u003e• Blank products sourced from Honduras and El Salvador\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDisclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAge restrictions: For adults\u003cbr\u003eEU Warranty: 2 years\u003cbr\u003eOther compliance information: Meets the lead and flammability level requirements.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIn compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), \u003cb\u003eOak inc.\u003c\/b\u003e and \u003cb\u003eSINDEN VENTURES LIMITED\u003c\/b\u003e ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at \u003cb\u003egpsr@sindenventures.com\u003c\/b\u003e. You can also write to us at \u003cb\u003e123 Main Street, Anytown, Country\u003c\/b\u003e or\u003cb\u003e Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"metric\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE LENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e96.5-104.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e106.7-114.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e87.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e116.8-124.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e90.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e127-134.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e92.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e137.2-144.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e95.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e147.3-155\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e97.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e83.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e157.5-165\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e100.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e167.6-175.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e102.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"MOXX.apparel","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46530548301955,"sku":"1463252_17295","price":99.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46530548334723,"sku":"1463252_17296","price":99.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46530548367491,"sku":"1463252_17297","price":99.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46530548400259,"sku":"1463252_17298","price":99.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46530548433027,"sku":"1463252_17299","price":99.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":46530548465795,"sku":"1463252_17300","price":99.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":46530548498563,"sku":"1463252_17301","price":99.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":46530548531331,"sku":"1463252_17302","price":99.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0707\/3080\/9475\/files\/unisex-heavy-blend-zip-hoodie-black-front-69883b22be2b3.jpg?v=1773788997","url":"https:\/\/moxxapparel.com\/products\/never-trust-humans-large-print-front-heavy-blend-zip-hoodie","provider":"MOXX.apparel","version":"1.0","type":"link"}